I'm not really sure how to write this, so here are the facts. My husband and I are sitting in a hospice room waiting for our 23 year old son to die. He overdosed last Tuesday in a hotel room and had been on life support, unresponsive since then. Late Saturday night we took him off the ventilator. His body is young and strong and struggling to stay alive.
We are with him in hospice now waiting.
I am angry with everyone who says they know how I am feeling because they don't. I don't even know how I am feeling. I am angry with his friends who post how much he means to them on his facebook wall. Why didn't they let him know that weeks ago? I am angry with God who is in control of this whole sad situation. I am angry and sad and tired and a hundred other things.
All our friends and family keep texting for updates, but there is nothing to update. They all want to do something, but there is nothing to do.
Two things I know for sure: good parenting can't fix a mentally ill child, and even a good therapist cannot help a mentally ill person who does not want to be helped.
10 comments:
Your sorrow is palpable, May you and your husband can find comfort in each other.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Mental illness is a terrible disease. You're right, even the best therapist in the world can't help those who don't want the help.
I am so sorry. {{hugs}} to you.
My heart is with you. I'm sorry this has happened. Many people struggle with something to say, but there are no words. Just know your sorrow is also theirs.
Julie
I just popped over from another blog. I can hear the hurt in your voice - I am so very sorry, and although you don't know me, I am sending you long distance hugs.
It's so true about mental illness, my little girl is struggling with it and she's only 9. How old was your son when his started to manifest?
I really hope he doesn't die, I'm not sure about the details but I know some people have fought back from being on life support.
If he does pass, will you be able to donate his organs? It's not much solace, but it's a way for him to "live on"?
Prayers, been there, nothing hurts worse
There is nothing I can say but I'm so sorry for your pain.
I am so sorry for your loss. May his memory live on through the support group he founded, and through the awareness his struggle and passing has brought to light in others.
My heart aches for you and your family....I am so very sorry.
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